What an awful week

Oh my goodness this past week has just been awful- all the way around.
For starters I have always disliked Christmas- I think its way to commerical and brings out the worst in people. Over the last 10 yrs or so I have seen some of the most insane things happen in the month prior to Christmas, this year was even worse thanks to the office move and an pain in the butt electrical contractor.

Monday- dawned bright and COLD- freezing cold- the poor moving guys were shivering with every box and piece of furniture they moved out of the old office. The new office was warm but once the doors were propped open it got cold fast.
Typical of moving everything that could go wrong did go wrong.
The electrical contractor had been contracted to do the low volt wiring - ie the phone and computer. OK he did it wrong so that when the internal phone company arrived they could not do anything with the phone system because the wiring was incorrect.
Then there was Verizon- who were supposed to have run the lines to the side of the house and tagged all 4 phone lines, 10 days ago- WRONG- they didn't do it. This took 4 and 3/4 hours on the phone to work it out.
Since the electrician wasn't finished - the U and O inspection could not be done so we could not unpack.

Tuesday- also COLD- we were supposed to get the electrical inspection- WRONG the electrician lied to us about having called to request it.
Verizon did install Fios, or so they calm, but the wireless still isn't working.
Again no electrical inspection meant no U and O inspection so no unpacking could take place.

Wednesday aka Christmas Eve- 8 Am found us fighting an icy parking lot - to meet Verizon, and the electrical inspector and the county inspectors for the U and O ( use and occupancy permit). The Electrical inspector gave us a partial pass, because the exam room and xray equipment aren't finished because the electrician didn't have it complete. The county inspector also partial passed the U and O- pending the exam and xray room and the fact that we put a full kitchen in our break room, and we now have to get permission from the county to have a stove in that room... please don't ask as I haven't a clue. But since it was Christmas eve and the inspectors didn't finish till noon, we got a little unpacking done, and then left to join our families.

Thursday Christmas day- was spent with our families. IN my case- I went to Essex and picked up my Grandmother, and drove her to Finksburg to have dinner at my brother's house. My brother and his wife are both great cooks and dinner was wonderful. Including his creamy white chocolate mint chocolate covered cheese cake, a Harvey wall banger cake, white chocolate macadamias nut cookies, rum balls, and egg nog sugar cookies.

Friday- My boss and I met for breakfast to formulate a plan of action. The county inspectors office was closed so we couldn't get the issue with the stove resolved. The contractors were all off work- but I called and got my 13 yr old nephews assistance, and we unpacked several of the rooms in the new office.

Saturday- the IT guy was in and worked on the computer network, fios isn't working right, so it made his job more difficult. I had to leave to go to Howard County for an MRI on my shoulder to figure out what I did to it.

Sunday- the boss and I again met for breakfast, we unpacked some of the kitchen at the new house, my brother and nephew helped us move the new chairs in and some boxes and furniture from my boss' garage. But it a big football day- so we left in time for the games to be watched.

Eating wise- this week as SUCKED- between eating take out while at the new office, holiday meals and parties, and my old habits coming home with a vengeance. Its been really bad.
Tomorrow is a new day, new week and this week see us bring in 2009- I have committed to myself, coach and my boss that 2009 is the year of HEALTH, WEALTH AND GOOD FORTUNE!!!!!

I wish you all a very happy, healthy and prosporous New Year.

God Bless

Holiday wishes

Wishing everyone a Very MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HANUKKAH.

Please travel safe, and enjoy the holidays with friends and family.

When life gives you lemons

Ask for VODKA.....

Its been that kind of week. So let me cover several topics and get caught up on life in general here.

The Weird stalker guy- actually found my home address- how I don't know he showed up last Friday night banging on my door- the cops were called again and told him to leave- which he did- he told the police officer that he was going to take me to small claims court for the cost of those tickets. I can't wait to hear him tell this one to a Judge.... thankfully he has not returned.

Work- we are in the midst of packing our office as we will be moving FINALLY on Monday. Its strange to be packing up 10 yrs worth of stuff.
Packing has taught me that I have an addition- I am seriously addicted to PENS- yes those writing implements- I had 3 desk drawers full of them. I have no clue how I acquired so many pens..... But I have alot of them.

Frustrations- Wednesday proved to be one of those AWFUL days- Verizon disconnected our Internet at the office a week early, so I have been bringing stuff home to do on line each day. Tuesday when I got home my home DSL was down ( 5th time in 3 weeks) - Verizon was to have sent a tech out on Wednesday night- however the Tech calls at 2 on Wednesday and leaves a message that they will need to reschedule me for Thursday- so after an hour and 45 minutes on the phone with Verizon- they refused send a tech out on Wednesday and promised I would be the first ticket Thursday AM. OK- the Delivery company calls and says they will be delivering the 3 new Chiropractic tables to the new location around 5 PM Wednesday night. Ok I go to the new office and await their arrive. At 5:45 they show up- walk thur the office and inform me that there is no way the tables will fit thur the doorways. WHAT?????? the tables are 23 and 3/4" wide- the door ways are 36" wide- so I don't understand , but they refused to even take the tables off their truck. Out of frustration I punched the stone fireplace in the new office. Have I mentioned the new office is in a 230 year old house, with 18" thick stone walls.

Learning lessons the hard way- Thursday was my Nephew's birthday- but he had a game that day. So Friday my brother and sister in law had a small get together at their place for him. It was catered by his favorite place- Popeye's chicken. OK so I figured it would be safest for me to take the skin off a chicken breast- that way I wouldn't be getting too much grease or fat, WRONG 20 minutes after eating that chicken breast my body REBELLED and rejected it. When I emailed my coach- he responded laughing about grease being poison. Never again.

Wednesday was my friend Jeff's birthday ( Formerly Fat running guy) he joins me at age 44 for a few months. I hope he had a great birthday and enjoyed the celebration.

The weight continues to come off slowly but surely. Every pair of jeans I currently own can be taken off without undoing the button or fly at all- all my slacks now require a belt to keep them on.

I am thinking that after the first of the year I might want to start taking dance lessons as I have always wanted to learn how to dance.

As for dating well I am still looking for my Prince Charming to help my write the next chapter of my life.

When life give you lemons, ask for some Vodka.

When did dating become so scary?

Disclaimer- I am NOT men bashing. For the most part I love guys, have more male friends then female ones" with that said-

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH GUYS THESE DAYS?

As a middle aged widow- I decided a few months ago to get back into the dating world.
I consider myself fairly web savvy so I put a few profiles up on some online dating sites. I even used a few that specialize in BBWs and their admirers.

I get a lot of emails from guys that are in Nigeria or some other strange place- I don't even waste my time with these- I just assume they are scammers.

Then there are the guys I consider to be just sickos. The guys that "break the ice" by asking if i will sit on them and urinate, or worse things.

Occasionally there are a few that appear normal at first. A few weeks ago a guy emailed me from one of the sites, he seemed nice- we chatted on line for a bit- he asked if I would be available tomorrow- I told him maybe, I'd have to check my work schedule. But that I might be able to do lunch. I didn't hear from again till today- I explained that I have been sick with a cold and bad cough all week ( which I have) and that I was going to stay in tomorrow.
He flipped out on me- started telling me how I was playing games with him and how he had purchased tickets to some Comedy club in DC for us for tomorrow night. WHAT???? I never agreed to any of that....

He said me an email demanding that I pay for 1/2 the cost of the tickets.

WHAT????

I politely told him NO. I had not agreed to any of that.

The next email from him was nastier and a bit threatening- but I let it go,

The 3rd email was a down right threatening, then the 2 voice mails from his friends.

Again WHAT???????

So I being smarter then that average bear called the police. Very nice police officer came- read the emails and said yes they were threatening and then I played the voice mail messages for her and she agreed and understood my concern.

She called him and told him to leave me alone or he would be charged.

When did this became Dating?

Granted its been 25 yrs since I dated my husband. But seriously is this what dating is now?

Drinking and weight loss

My coach says NO excuses- OK NO excuses- I take full responsiblity for my acts, all be it they weren't great.

Its been a very stressful week, my office move had to be rescheduled, my boss whom I consider one of my closest friends, is stressing me out. Thursday was the second anniversary of my husband's death, my strep throat and ear infections cleared up but not I have a cold and cough. Just wasnt a good week.
My friend Joe- called and said he and his sister- also a widow were borned - did I want to take a ride and find that resturant we had been seeing ads for on the TV.

Joe I say - thats in Gaithersburg- it's cold and they are calling for light rain, Ter it doesnt matter, come- go to the website and get directions. So I did.

The restuarant was called Joe's Crab Shack- dinner was great- I had a seafood combo platter that had fish, shrimp and scallops- it was yummy.

However, I foolishly decided to order something called a Titanic Tea- their 26 ounce verison of a long Island Iced Tea. Long ago- seems like another lifetime ago Long Island Iced Teas were my drink of choice. The night I was out going President of my Jaycee Chapter- I drank 17 of them.

Last night I only had the 1- grant it the 1 was the equivilant of 3, I was drunk- when I stood up to leave the resturant I nearly toppled over, I wasn't in Joe's van long and I was asleep. When I woke up as we were getting on 795- it was snowing. When he dropped me off- I came in and went right to sleep.

The journey is getting fun.

Temptations

It's another cold Friday night here in Md so I am sitting here thinking about all the temptations I have had this week.

My office was supposed to be moving in to a FABULOUS historic house this weekend, but thanks to an Electrical contract that has no integrity the house still ( after 12 months) has NO power. So we have delayed for the 4th time this move. The stress of dealing with my boss, and all this crap has made me want ice cream, chocolate and wine. In stead I volunteered at the toy drive at the church.

It's cold, unseasonalby cold - for some reason the cold makes me want to eat as well. I want comfort foods- mac & cheese baked hot from the oven, my late mother in laws chicken pot pie, my late husband's blue berry pancakes- all bad and not on my eating plan. In stead I made some homemade applesauce, it was wonderful.

I watched my nephews for a while tonight. They wanted to order a pizza for dinner. It smelled so good, I was tempted but had my salad and made sure to sent the box with the uneaten pizza home with them. The 2 of them are growing boys and I am sure it wont make it thru the evening. If it does their Dad I am sure will finish it when he gets home from work.

I have a feeling its going to be a long winter- I am not looking forward to it.
My good friend is running tomorrow in the Jingle Bell 5 k, and Sunday in a metric Marathon- the weather man is calling for it to only be in the 30s - brrrrr too cold - even if you are running a mile in 10 minutes. Good Luck Jeff and stay as warm as you can.

Are you enjoying the journey so far?

Adventage of being sick

There is some advantage to being sick. I guess- if you look at it that way.

I went to my PCP Wednesday she diagnoised me with Strep and double inner ear infections, she wanted to see me again today to check the ear infections- I am pleased to say that they are improving- not totally cleared up but much better then they were. The Throat is better too- I can actually swallow again.
Between Wednesday and today I haven't had much of an appetite and have pretty much exsisted on chicken broth, and frozen sugar free popsciles.

Well when I stepped on her office scale today - it revealed that I have lost 51 pounds. I was at 47 down on Wednesday.

My coach and I agree its not about lost pounds or inches lost- its about being healthy- and yeah I know spending 3 days in bed with strep and ear infections isn't really healthy - I am living a much healthier lifestyle.

Gone are the dinners for Mac and cheese, double cheese pizza, or cheese steak subs. No more Pancakes smoothered in butter and syrup for breakfast. Instead breakfast is fruit or oatmeal, lunch is a salad or some kind of veggie based soup, dinner is protein and veggies.

Thanksgiving dinner for me was Chicken broth, hot tea and latter in the eveing a strawberry popscile.

The journey thru life is a marathon not a spirnt so pace yourself.

Double ear infections and strep throat

That is the doctors diagnosis. Started feeling bad yesterday and by this morning I was walking like a drunk person, running a fever, and could barely swallow.

My boss made me go see my PCP. She was the one the diagnosised the double inner ear infections and the strep throat.

I was given an anti-botic and a medication to help with the dizziness. That medication makes me very sleepy.

I will be home tomorrow. So far the only thing I have been able to even get down are a couple of sugar free popsciles..

The doctor suggested - Juices , lots of fluids, popsciles, tea , vitamin C and lots of rest.

I hope all you have a great Thanksgiving and enjoy the day.

Life is a journey - enjoy the ride.

Ramblings on a Cold Friday night

It's a very cold Friday night here in Maryland, so here are some of my thoughts and ramblings tonight.

Pets- Today my kitten Ariel had surgery to be spayed. I was a nervous wreck all day- as it was just a year ago that my first kitten Sebastian died while being neutered due to a hole in his heart. I am pleased to report that Ariel's surgery went well and she is recovering nicely at the vet's. I get to bring her home tomorrow afternoon.
It about broke my heart last night when she gave me this hurt sad look, as I picked her food and water bowls up.

Snow- I HATE IT. It was snow showering here today, ALOT. When we left the office for lunch- it was like a white out , mess. No it didnt stick to the ground, but still it had everyone crazy. Currently our office is next to a Mars grocery store. No joke they had lines all the way to the back of the store today with people waiting to check out. What where they buying- well of course - Milk, Bread, eggs and Toliet paper.

Shopping- I never used to pay much attention to the lay out of stores , but now I am begining to wonder if store lay outs could be contributing to the obesity problem in this country . I stopped at CVS on my way home, I needed a dicongestant for my nose, and some vitamins that I was out of.
The second I stepped into the store- bam- this is a huge rack of gourment chocolates, then its an aisle full of cakes, cookies, and other candies. Then an aisle full of sodas, and ice creams. These are the first 5 aisles of the store. OMG this is unbelievable in a DRUG store. No I was not even tempted. I got my decongestant, my vitamin B12, Vitamin C and D, and 2 bottles of Fugi water, and was out the door as quickly as I could be.

Water- I never thought much about water- but now that I am drinking alot of it, its became more of a priority. I like Fugi water the best- its just got a cleaner, almost sweeter taste to it.

Holidays- Well we have the first in the Triple crown of Dieters Hell next week. Thanksgiving- please don't get me wrong- I love being with my family, but I prefer to do it on my own terms and in short doses. Being a widow, my brother automatically expects I will be going to his house for dinner. Well that isn't so bad - really kind of not bad .I guess. I have to pick my Grandmother up first- she lives 35 miles in the opposite direction from my brother's, she doesn't hear well, she doesn't like people, she hates being around my nephews, and generally will be cranky all day. Then my sister in law calls me to day to ask my to pick up wine- not a problem. I ask what she is serving. Turkey ( of course) my brother is going to deep fry it- oh well that makes it healthy?????- what else I ask- candied sweet pototoes, mashed pototoes, mac and cheese, green bean casserole, honey glazed carrotts, asparagas in hollandaise, home made rolls with sweet butter, and jellied cranberry sauce. ( Note none of these are things I am able to eat on my plan) Oh yeah my brother is making a Chocolate ,chocolate chip, mint chip, cheesecake for dessert.

I love my family- but would much rather stay at home and order shrimp chow mein from my favorite chineese place.

Dinner- cooking for 1 person SUCKS. Thank heavens for my mini George Forman Grill- it's perfect for just 1 person. Tonight- I grilled a piece of sirlon, and had some steamed veggies. I hate cooking for just myself.

Well thats about it for my ramblings tonight.
Enjoy the journey

My Program

I have been asked by a couple of people what program I am using. Well Coach Dr. Joe has a program based on a book called the Tao of Health, Sex and Longevity- by Daniel Reid. He had me read the book when we first started – he calls it a bible- I tend to agree and would recommend the book to anyone.

So there were 8 components we needed to address to start me on my weight loss journey.

#1- As the book talks about- we have to have a balanced PH in our bodies- our bodies have to be balance. Chemistry was never my strong suit. However I did understand what the book was talking about. When we eat protein the body produces an enzyme to break it down, that enzyme is very acidic – it needs to be to break down the proteins. When we eat a carb or starch the body produces an enzyme that is much more alkaline to breakdown the carbs. So when we eat things like a cheeseburger on a bun or pizza- the body produces both and they cancel each other out. Those nothing gets digested and the food just lays there. So it’s important that I eat 1 thing at a time to keep the PH balanced.

#2- Fueling the Machine- when we first start, Coach Dr. Joe asked me if money were no object and I could have any car I wanted – what would it be? My answer was an ASTON MARTIN- then he asked me if the owner’s manual stated to use only high test unleaded gas in the car, and for what every reason I decided to put diesel in the gas tank- how well would the car run. Like Crap. Some goes for our bodies. So we talked a bit more about what I crave- sugar- sweet things. Ok so we have a few simple and easy food rules. Fruit starts the day- fresh and health, and as much as I want. Rule #2 Veggies go with everything. #3- Protein first, #4 its better to eat several small meals then 1 or 2 large ones.

#3- SLEEP- I wasn’t getting enough sleep- there are 2 reasons sleep is important. #1- When the body doesn’t get enough sleep it goes into STRESS mode, stress mode means the body starts to produce excessive levels of a hormone called CORTISOL. Cortisol is nature in our bodies- it’s called the internal alarm clock. However in high levels it slows the metabolism, inflames the joints and keeps us awake, thus cause a cycle of stress and no sleep and stress and no sleep. The second is most sleep deprived people tend to eat too much and eat the wrong stuff to keep themselves away and energized.

#4- Hydration- WATER WATER WATER- so important and something I frequently forget. The human body needs water. I used to drink a lot of coke, iced tea and ginger ale. Not good – these things do nothing to rehydrate the body. Currently I am shooting for 200 ounces of water a day- not there yet but I am working on it.
#5-Core stability- Because of events in my past, my core i.e. my pelvis has become unstable- so Coach Dr. Joe has me doing a bunch of strengthen and stabilizing stretches and exercise. They are working and I am walking better.
#6- Exercise- I sit for a living- like a lot of us do. So one of the first things Coach Dr. Joe had me do was purchase a “GOFIT- PRO GYM band set” this are easy to use and very portable. They came with a DVD on how to use them. There are simple yet effective exercises. I do about 20 to 30 minutes of band exercise each evening after work.
#7- Breathing- don’t laugh I know breathing is automatic but I am taking about specific breathing, breathing from the diaphragm. This isn’t as easy as it may seem. One of the practices I am working on is laying flat on the bed with a book over my navel- the object is to make the book go up and down- this isn’t easy.
#8- My head space- We all create stories about ourselves- mine is that I am worthless, so in my world why should I bother, but that doesn’t work at this point. I am worth it, and am worth the work this journey is taking.

So that’s my program.

Cold, Cold, Cold

It's cold- correction I AM COLD. Freezing actually. I am down a little over 45lbs and I'm cold all the time now. Last weekend I was in Atlanta for business and was cold there to0.
I have 2 close male friends that have both lost alot of weight in the last few years and both tell me Cold it par for the course.
Coffee has become my new best friend. I never drank alot of it, but as I sit in my living room sipping my second cup of Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee ( its the best and smoothest around) I wonder how in the world I am going to make it thru the winter, afterall it is only mid November and the worse of the Maryland winters is ahead of us.
I might need to build a bon fire in my living room come January.
Well time for another cup of coffee. Stay warm.
Life is a Journey- enjoy the view along the way.

Atlanta and back

On Thursday afternoon my boss, co-worker and I left Baltimore for Atlanta on an Amtrak train. Yes you read that right.... its a 15 plus hour train ride. I was over night, my boss who apparently can sleep thru just about anything and anywhere slept most of the way down and back. From Friday morning till Saturday evening we were attending The Family Practice -chiropractic seminar. Dr. Erik Plasker is the head of the Family Practice, he has written a book called the 100 year lifestyle.

If you havent read the book- I highly recommend it.

So a 15 hour train ride each way , could have proven to be a chellenge for eating right, but I did well. I had plenty of fruit with me, nuts, and water with me. Eating while there was also relatively easy- the hotel resturant had a breakfast buffet that included lots and lots of fresh fruit and protein choices. Dinner at Bricktops resturant was great.

I did come home with several things: ( Besides a pink princess cap)

Its not about pounds or inches lost- its about living healthy for a long and fun filled life.

That a healthy long life is work, and its not an automatic.

That change is the only constant in life.

I am also feeling more confident about myself, my choices and my abilities at work and in life.

Life is journey- enjoy the scenery along the way.

Went to see the coach today

My weight loss coach is a Chiropractor, Dr. Joe Wood - he has put together an awesome stregthening and stretching protocol and today he held a workshop on just that.
So my boss and I went up to Langhorne PA to attend the workshop. It was awesome,but Dr. Wood always is.
Langhorne is about 20 miles North of Philly. About 2 and 1/2 hours from here ( reisterstown, MD). I did most of the driving. 275 Miles round trip. I did however get to drive the boss' mustang convertible- I love that car it moves so fast. At one point coming down 95 tonight I looked down and WHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO I was going 90 miles on an hour- yeah way over the speed limit. I slowed down and paid more attention the rest of the way home.

Dr. Wood said he could real see a different in the 3 weeks since we were there last. That made me smile.

He showed me a couple of stretches that helped the back pain I have been experiencing, they are really helping.

Some may ask why I need a coach- well my answer to them is this- have you ever seen an team make it to the super bowl or the world series without one. All great player have a coach. Besides its always good to have someone that can Hug you and kick you in the butt at the same time.

Finally- a clue as to what is going on

For the last several weeks I have been very depressed and upset- as I have stated before. Crying all the time and not even wanting to get out of bed in the morning . THAT JUST ISN'T ME....

I mean I was back at work with in days of my Mom's, Dad's and Husband's funeral. I didn't go back to work then and sit there and cry. But I have been lately.

Last week I start experiencing back pain in a weird place for me. I have been working with my coach on stretches to stregthen my Pelvis and sacrum. They are working great. I can walk around a bit more without the horrible pain. So when this started in the middle of my lumbar spine I was concerned that perhaps I had done on of the stretches wrong.

I work for a Chiropractor so of course I had him check me out- and that spot was so tender that he literally could not touch me without my jumping.

So what does lumbar pain and crying have to do with each other- most folks would think NOTING.... But the can be symptoms of a larger problem.

Over the weekend I began experiencing some "female" issues I shouldn't be having. Yesterday - I called my GYN and he saw me right away. He did an exam and sonogram and discovered that my reproductive organs all look swollen and that there are cysts on both ovaries. He also ran a bunch of blood work.

He called me late morning with those results. The good news was that the blood test for ovarian cancer CA125 came back negative, and my liver and kidney funtions are good. The bad news is that my cortisol levels are very high, my testerone levels are nearly 3 times what they should be, my estrogen levels are less then 1/2 what they should be and my progestrone levels are less then a 1/3 of what they need to be.

The doctor sent me a RX for some hormone replacement medications, my coach has recommended several supplements, all of which I have started taking.

The doctor , coach and my boss all agree that with my body chemistry being so out of whack, it's no wonder I have been depressed. Now for the back pain. The nerves that run thru the lumbar spine in the area of my pain- are the nerves that link to the reproductive organs. DUH right.

So at least I know I am not losing my mind.

Fussing up and other fun stuff

Yesterday was a tough day, I was supposed to be going out to dinner with a group of friends to honor my late Mother's birthday, but for 1 reason or another everyone begged out. So I ended up spending the evening home alone. Not a big deal.

I decided to fix a piece of steak and same salad for dinner. While my steak was cooking in my forman grill- I decided to open one of the 3 bottles of wine in my fridge.

The 3 bottles are courtsey of my brother, they are from my favorite Maryland Vineyard- it's their newest release.

I had intended on having 1 glass, well 1 glass lead to a second and a second lead to a 3rd and before I knew it - I had finished the whole bottle. Did I mention these are restuarant size bottles?

Now I don't usually drink- Oh sure I majored in Alcholism my first seamster in College 26 yrs ago. It was a minor my second term, but after that I just stopped drinking. I have an occasional cocktail or glass of wine. But I'm guessing I have less then 3 drinks a year usually.

I have been feeling very sad, down and sometimes down right depressed the last few weeks. Yesterday was a very very bad day for me.

For the first time in my life I woke up with a hang over. I felt like crap when the cat woke me at 7 AM this morning. Thankfully, it was Sunday so once I got up and gave her food I could and DID go back to bed.

I have a call with my Weight loss coach later tonight- and yes I will fuss up to him too, about my drinking a whole bottle of wine.

Remembering

I'm a bit lost today in the memory of what today is. Today - October 25 would be my Mom's 68th Birthday. It's hard for me to think of my Mom being that age, my Mom passed away when she was 55 years old. She died from a rare blood born cancer called Multiple Mylomia. She passed on April 27,1996. The photo above was taken of my parents just 6 months before she passed away. The doctors say she was already had the cancer growing inside her when this photo was taken, and no one knew it.

My Mom was a great person, she loved people. She enbraced my brother's and my friends like they were part of her family. She was fun to be around, she loved to shop and if shopping had been an olympic sport she would have 800 gold medals for it.

I miss her. I have been sad and down for weeks thinking about her and my Dad who passed away in 2003, and my late husband who passed in 2006. Being a catholic I believe in heaven, I believe that when you pass from this life, you go on to one there. So do believe that somewhere in Heaven today My Mom, Dad, Edward ( my Husband) Edward's Mom and Grandmom, My Mom's parents and my parent's friends will be having a birthday Celebration to honor her. Here on earth some friends and I will be going out to dinner a bit later to celebrate it as well.

God Bless you Mom. You are loved by so many.....

Pink M & M's

Everything has turned Pink this month- and that in and of it's self is ok by me. I love PINK. My whole apartment is Pink, I have pink note pad and stuff on my desk. You could say its my signature color.

After work today I did some grocery shopping and had to go to walmart. Somehow seeing the many many displays of halloween candy don't seem to be bothering me. However, the bags and bags of PINK M&Ms are all calling my name. There are everywhere... everywhere the grocery store, the drug store, walamart, target, etc. everywhere I tell you. Plain and peanut- all calling for me to take them home.

Perhaps my best plan of action should be to refrain from shopping for a while.

An introduction

Hi,
My name is Terry. I am 44 years old, a widow, a cat owner, and Aunt, an Employee, and a friend to a number of folks.
I work full time as the Practice Manager for a FABULOUS Chiropractic Center , and I am blessed that I work for one of my best friends.

That and the fact that I am what is politely know as a BBW, about sum me up.

Let us discuss this term BBW a moment- it stands for Big Beautiful Women- a nice way of saying FAT.

There I said it. I am a fat women. Have been all my life, well at least as long as I can remember.

I have been on every diet you can think of - the banana diet, the bouimian diet, slim fast, the zone, Richard simmons deal a meal, a good friend gave me a book once called eat more weight less, phen- fen, and of protein shakes. They worked great for a while, but then the I gained it and then some back. Between 1995 and 96 I was on Phen - fen and lost nearly 90 pounds, even thru the death of my Mom I kept lossing weight, then they pulled it from the market for good reason. With in 4 months the weight was back on.

In 2005 I decided Gastric bypass surgery was the answer. I sought out a ASBS certified Doctor and jumped thru every hoop they had for me- including having a vena cave /greenfield filter installed. This is a filter that is put into the superior vena cava, by making a small cut in the femoral artiery and passing this filter to the superior vena cava, and then popped open like a flower. Its permanant. The Center then sent all my medical records, including 6 doctors statements that I need the surgery as a life saving measure, to my insurance company, who proptly DINED the surgery as not being medically necessary , because I work for small company that only has 3 employees on its medical policy.

Six weeks ago- while I was posting on a Chiropractic business board- one of the chiropractor on the forum volunteered his services as a weight loss and lifestyles coach. I accepted his offer and today I am down 23 pounds, and have lot more to go.

One of the first things we needed to work on was getting my Pelvis stable enough for me to work out. Being hit by a car at age 20 and blowing out my knee and pelvis in the process was not helpful to my body. Oh and as a side note- being OBESE saved my life that night. Had I weight 140lbs- the appropriate weight for someone my height, I would have died when that Buick hit me at 45 mph.

At the moment this whole thing seems like an impossible task.
Thanks to any of you that are reading this. More later
Terry