Thinking about.....

Things I shouldn't be thinking about.

Today has been tough- I wanted to stay in bed this morning with the blankets pulled over my head, but I knew that wont be best for me, so I got up at 5:30 like usual, did my stretching, and exercises , showered and went to work.

6 years ago tonight my Dad literally dropped dead in my arms- He had just gotten home from work, and we were sitting in the living room talking. He started to wheeze and asked me to get his inhaler. In the 2 minutes it took me to go to his room and come back, he had stopped breathing. I knew he was gone when he collapsed into my arms and took me to the floor.

I did CPR for what seem like a hour- in actuality it was only about 6 minutes before the EMTs arrived. The EMTs did everything they could- the paddles, shots, etc. But I he never came back.

I still have night mares about that night- and the trauma of it all. There is a natural process that a human body goes thur when it dies suddenly like that, and I was unprepared for that.

In many ways I consider myself blessed, I was holding my Mom's hand reading her the national enquirer ( yes she loved that magazine) when she passed, My Dad died in my arms, and I had just kissed my late husband on the forehead when he died.

Monday would be my Mom and Dad's wedding anniversary = 46 years. The weekend he passed away was their 40th anniversary- No coincides there.
My Dad was devastated when my Mom died in 96, he mourned her and pined away over her death- he just was never the same after that. At least they are together now.