Warning- this blog post has little to do with weight loss and is more a commentary on life in general.
I never intended to find my self in the dating world at 45. By age 22 I was happily married to a wonderful man that I had intended to grow old with. Well that didn't happen. Thanks to his obesity, dibeties and heart conditions he was called home to be with God alot sooner then I would have liked.
He knew he was not long for this life in 2003 after a series of strokes left him bedridden and unable to move his legs or 1 arm. He made me promise I would not pine away for him. That I would go out and date, met someone wonderful and marry again.
It took a little more then a year for me to get out of the BLACK hole I fell into after he passed away. Shortly after emmerging from that hole - I put up several dating site profiles. Mostly on dating sites that are for BBW's .
Well dating is ALOT different then it was 25 yrs ago. At first I was getting "hits" from alot of men telling me they were working in Africa or Ghana- yeah right- I'm not that stupid.
Once in a while I would get a "hit" from a real man. Someone relatively local- we'd email for a bit, then chat on line , then when I felt comfortable I'd give him my cell phone number. Occasionally I have met a few of these guys.
NONE to date have worked out....
There was the guy I left sitting in TGI fridays after he belittled the waitress before we had even ordered our meal.
There was the guy who had our wedding planned before we had even gone out.
There was the guy who asked me the most degrading discussing question ever and also got left in a restuant.
There are alot of guys who just want to come here on the first date- NOT HAPPENING.
Last night I went to dinner with a man I have been out with a few before- I thought we were enjoying each others company. He does too- but during the course of dinner he tells me that he "just wants to be friends with benefits".... what exactly does that mean....
Don't get me wrong- I have had friends all my life- I still have friends from Jr. High, High School and College... but Friends with benefits... thats a new one to me...
SO I am turning to you- my obviously much more intelligent friends and blog reads to please enlighten me as to what are " Friends with benefits" and what kind of relationships is that...
For the record- I am seeking a Nice, Normal, Funny, Sensative and caring Guy ... know anyone?
This journey is full of twists and turns....
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2 comments:
Well, as the old folks used to say "he wants the milk without buying the cow." Or at least I think that's the way the expression goes.
He means, let's be friends, have sex and no commitment. Seems to be a big expression with the younger crowd.
Judycolby is correct. The "with benefits" part is sex but it may also include personal loans, use of your car, doing his errands, etc. -- whatever he needs from you. This is never a positive, uplifting, nurturing relationship for both parties. Kick this bum to the curb. You have infinite more self-worth than he can appreciate and value.
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