My boss and I were talking over lunch today , during that conversation we started talking about the why of what I was doing. I explain to him that after many many years of feeling like I had no worth at all- I finally got it that I have value, I have a worth.
I explained that I have 2 huge fears in life- #1 being alone the rest of my life, and # 2 ending up like my late husband Edward.
You see Edward was a wonderful man- I loved him very much and he loved me too. Edward was severely morbidly obese, diabetic, had 3 heart conditions and suffered from bipolar disorder. During the course of the 20 and 1/2 years we were married he got sicker and sicker, 7 years before he died he got gangrene in his groin and had to have several major surgeries, nearly died, and spent a month in shock trauma, after that he could only move about in a wheel chair. He spend the last 3 and 1/2 years of his life bedridden, unable to do anything for himself.
I never want to live like that.
For many reasons that I can not find the words for when my Fabulous Coach offered his assistants - I took it and embraced it.
The last 9 months have been about me working on me- in more then just the weight loss. Its about me learning to be confident, calm and secure in my own being.
Pretty amazing Journey for this worhtless girl who knows nothing.
Embrace the journey and enjoy it.
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