Sunday, May 15, 2011

How I made mysefl have a fulfilled life

Foundations to how I made myself have a fulfilled life
I’m constantly getting asked how it is that I am so happy and seem to have such a fulfilled life. Well here are some of basic foundations or if you prefer you can call them values, or principals to how I have made this transformation over the last 2 and ½ years.

Keep life simple. I use this everyday from the way I dress, to how my home is appointed, to how I speak to folks. SIMPLE is easy and no hassle which means less stress for me.

Practice being satisfied. I’m thrilled and delighted with what I have, sure I want to continue to grow but I am satisfied everyday with where I am at right now, what I have, and the friends I have. Makes life GREAT!

Beware of indecision. Indecision leads to disappointment, and heartache. I’m not saying go make decisions without the facts but gain the facts, and make the best decision and move on. Do not second guess yourself or be indecisive for long. In 2006 I had to make the hardest decision ever, the decision to put my husband into hospice and discontinue lifesaving measures. For years I agonized over that decision, I had to stop second guessing it and just know I did what was best for him.

Practice cheerfulness. It’s so important. Being happy is a choice, being cheerful makes everyone around you be the same way. Think about this- what would our world be like right now if everyone practice cheerfulness? What a different place we’d be living in.

Learn to like people. I hear from a lot of my friends and family members the phase “I hate people” and I say REALLY??? Think about this – 65% of all communication is NON verbal. So if you say “I hate people” do you real think that others don’t know that? How would you like to walk into your next Drs appointment and “feel” the person at the first desk be saying under her breathe “I hate people”. People make our lives more full and fun. You do not have to like everyone you met but learn to like people in general. You will be adding life to your life.

Live and let live – Who are you to judge anyone 1. I try not to be judgmental of the people I meet or the folks in my life. It is not my place to place judgment on anyone, nor is it their place to place judgment on me. Live and let live…. For me there is one 1 being that can Judge any of us and that is God.

Adversity teaches. I have on my desk the story of the butterfly – the story goes that the breed was excited to see his butterfly begin to emerge from its cocoon, the butterfly was struggling to free it’s self from cocoon, this went on for hours, the butterfly had pulled 1 wing out of the cocoon, the breeder could not take it anymore he used his own fingers to open the rest of the cocoon to free the butterfly. While the butterfly was beautiful it could never fly correctly because it never developed the muscle in that 1 wing, for it’s the struggle to release its self from the cocoon that it develops the muscles it needs to fly. I have had a lot of adversity in my life, and I would not trade any of them for a second- for each 1 has gotten me to where and who I am today.

Don’t take yourself so seriously. A number of years ago someone told me I needed to lighten up, and they weren’t talking about my weight. I was once very serious and never laughed at anything. Today I love to laugh and can’t get enough of it. Laugher really does add to your life. I try to laugh at every day.

Have a sense of purpose. Having a purpose is more than a goal or series of goals. Having a purpose is having a drive, a reason, a sense that makes you get up every day and go forward. If you need to write yourself a Purpose statement and read it every day then do so.

Practice objectivity. Be objective in your decision-making and risk-taking. Know the facts and avoid letting racial, social, or any other type of bias influence your decisions. Great leaders perform their best when they act based on facts, not on emotion or prejudices. Become a great leader for your life. I make decisions based on the facts, and not on feelings, I do this with every decision in my life, from what to have for lunch to which TV to purchase. Weight the FACTS, not your emotions. Be objective not emotional. Now that I look back it was an objective decision I made in December of 2006.

Tolerate your own mistakes. You will make mistakes – in fact, you will make so many mistakes you will never be able to list them all. Learn from them and then MOVE on. Do not dwell on them or let the idea of making a mistake stop you from going for what you want. I have made so many mistakes in my life, and when I stopped and thought about it each one was an incredible learning experience, I gather the lessons and move forward.

Forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself up over things that happened in the past - things you did or didn’t do, and mistakes you may have made with others or with yourself. JUST STOP IT. Forgive yourself first. Then others. Most people do not know that I nearly went insane after my Dad died. I blamed myself for his death, I felt I should have seen the signs, I felt I could have been a better daughter. Within 6 weeks of my Dad passing my Husband had a series of strokes and I blamed myself for that too. I had to find it in myself to forgive myself for whatever it was I thought I had done to cause any of these events.

Forgiving yourself is a skill so few of us have the ability to accomplish. It's such a shame that we spent a lifetime living in the past and never make it to our full potential in the future. Forgive yourself – and just as importantly, forgive others.

There you have it. Really not secrets just common sense things that I choose to live my life by. These things have helped me develop into the person I have always wanted to be. Following them will help you too.

There are many ideas on this journey; many do not have to be difficult. Making changes are easy, thinking about change is hard.

Love and Laughter



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