Profound words from the Beatles or maybe it's just sinking in

Profound words from the Beatles or maybe it’s just sinking in
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

“Let it be” has always been one of my favorite songs, and certainly my favorite Beatles song, but it wasn’t until the long drive home from Pennsylvania last night that I finally got its meaning.

You see, Yesterday morning, my Boss and Co-worker and I set off to my Weight Loss Coach’s office in Morrisville PA- as he was teaching a workshop we all wanted to attend. He is in a new location and I had not been to his new office. This started off being fun- why shouldn’t it have been- I was driving my boss’ car, which I love to drive, as its fast and a fun and easy car to drive. He had brought several Beatles CDs to listen to, it was beautiful bright day. Just perfect for a road trip

In my usually overly organized, need to be responsible thing- I have pulled Rand McNally and Map Quest instructions as well as programmed the address into my GPS. All 3 had me going across the Delaware Memorial Bridge, onto 295 and up into New Jersey. These seemed odd to me, because I had never had to go over the Delaware Memorial Bridge, and he had said the new place was only 10 minutes from the old one.
The first 2 hours were fun; we were all laughing, and singing along to the songs on CD. The GPS had me get off 295 on to Rt. 322, about a mile and ½ up 322 it tells me “route Recalculation”, then instructions me to get onto the New Jersey Turn Pike, then it has me get off back on to I 295 north, and then off again- each time I make a turn it tells me it tells me route recalcation, at 1 point, it told me we were an hour away when we were less than 5 miles from his office. I was freaking out, pissed off, upset and getting very anxious.

I have learned to deal with a lot of my anxiety issues over the years, but there are a few things that still get me going. Things like being lost in areas I do not know. Eventually my boss made me pull over and took the wheel because I was as the kids say “Freaking out”. But there was more to it than that, I got hooked by being late, My Dad, who I loved dearly, could not be on time to save his life. No matter where we were going we were always late, and it really annoyed me. I buy technology to help make me smarter, and the GPS was making me look like an idiot, so add all that together and I was boiling over. At 1 point I looked down and was doing over 100 miles an hour, oops took my foot off the accelerator. Yeah I was super hooked, super upset.

Dr. Wood’s workshop was awesome- working with him, he keeps telling me to relax, and let go. I have no clue how to do any of that.

During the drive home my boss and I were talking- as many of you know –successful weight loss is so much more than just reducing the amount you eat, and increasing your exercise. I have many friends that have had weight loss surgery and all of them tell me the same thing, the surgery fixed my stomach but not my head.

I have talked before about the things our brains do to us. My brain instantly takes me to “it’s my fault”, “I’m responsible”. Of course when I get upset I want to eat, and eat the WRONG THINGS, of course I was not craving apples or carrots yesterday – oh Hell no- I wanted Chocolate cake and brownies. Of course I did not eat them but I wanted them.

Talking on the way- my boss put in “Let it be” – wow I get it- I try too friggin hard to force things to” Work” instead of just letting them happen. As we were driving around in circle yesterday getting back and forth over this metal hanging bridge- my boss was laughing, yeah that was pissing me off too, but he was laughing because he is good at just letting things happen, and secure in his knowledge that they will work out how they were supposed to…. “Let it be”

This 1 is going to take a lot of practice for me…. But I am up for the challenge.

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
speaking words of wisdom, let it be

This journey should be full of “fun days”, with people we like being with.

Love and Laughter

Hoorah

Terry