I woke up this morning thinking about where I was 23 years ago today. Today is my 23rd Anniversary. My husband is deceased now, has been for about 2 and 1/2 years now.
How I remember this day 23 years ago- it was HOT - Horrible HOT- 103 degrees hot when we walked out of the NON air condition church at 11 AM, My dress weight 22lbs on its own, I was overweight as I have been all my life, My husband was larger then me. I was sweating horribly, and by the time I got out of that dress I had hives everywhere it touched.
Edward was a good man even after 7 stroked he tried his best to make me laugh. Ours was not the usual courtship, no we met over the phone- he was a client of the alarm monitoring company I worked for, we talked for 6 weeks on the phone before ever meeting, then 1 day he asked me to lunch and proprosed and I accepted, 13 months later we were married.
I realized how different I am then I was then- besides the fact that I was only 22 then and am now 45, besides that- there are so many other diffences- back then when I was upset or anxious I ate- not I go for a swim, back then I would go all day without eating a realy meal thinking that was going to help me loss weight now I get it that eating something small every 3 hours is soo much better for my metoblism.
Back them Ice cream, hot dogs and mac and cheese were main stays in my diet, now adays its fruits, veggies and good proteins.
Yes I would dearly love to be married again- I do better as a significant other, so far I haven't met the right man- I hope and pray there is another one out there for me.
The journey takes us places we never expected to be- but its all part of the ride, so buckle up and enjoy it.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Life is getting interesting here
Wow is life getting very interesting these days. For starters I am noticing so much about how things used to be:
Last night my friend and I stopped at friendly's for a quick dinner- (chesseburger with out the roll) while we were there I noticed a teenager eating a reese's peices sundae. This sundae has 5 scoops of ice cream- chocolate,marshmellow, peanut butter, whipped cream, etc...
When I was in high school my friend ( who's name I will not mention) and I used to go for pizza and then for 1 of those sundaes. I dont know how we did that.
I notice that I order meals totally differently too, no more deep fried, highly fat loaded foods- Friday night a good friend took his sister and I to ruth chris for dinner-I had escargot, salad w/vinegrette dressing, filet w/broiled shrimp... Big difference from the last time I was there.
Tuesday morning I stepped on the scale at the gym- I dont weight myself often- would just make me nuts and this isnt about numbers for me - I was shocked to discover that the scales said I was 102.4 lbs lighter then 8 months ago. ITs taken a week to sink in to my head.
My clothes are all to big and some are even sliding off. I did buy a couple of summer dresses to wear to work, but they are even a bit loose now too.
Life is interesting- we are entering the hot humid summer here in MD- and I can't wait to be swimming outside, and tanning and doing all the fun summer things- I am not much of an outdoors girl. My allergeies are awful, but I am looking forward to a fun summer.
Life is interesting and the Journey is getting good.
Happy Memorial day to you all- be healthy , be safe, be alive.
Last night my friend and I stopped at friendly's for a quick dinner- (chesseburger with out the roll) while we were there I noticed a teenager eating a reese's peices sundae. This sundae has 5 scoops of ice cream- chocolate,marshmellow, peanut butter, whipped cream, etc...
When I was in high school my friend ( who's name I will not mention) and I used to go for pizza and then for 1 of those sundaes. I dont know how we did that.
I notice that I order meals totally differently too, no more deep fried, highly fat loaded foods- Friday night a good friend took his sister and I to ruth chris for dinner-I had escargot, salad w/vinegrette dressing, filet w/broiled shrimp... Big difference from the last time I was there.
Tuesday morning I stepped on the scale at the gym- I dont weight myself often- would just make me nuts and this isnt about numbers for me - I was shocked to discover that the scales said I was 102.4 lbs lighter then 8 months ago. ITs taken a week to sink in to my head.
My clothes are all to big and some are even sliding off. I did buy a couple of summer dresses to wear to work, but they are even a bit loose now too.
Life is interesting- we are entering the hot humid summer here in MD- and I can't wait to be swimming outside, and tanning and doing all the fun summer things- I am not much of an outdoors girl. My allergeies are awful, but I am looking forward to a fun summer.
Life is interesting and the Journey is getting good.
Happy Memorial day to you all- be healthy , be safe, be alive.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Lots of cool changes in the last 2 weeks
There have been lots of really great changes in the 2 weeks I have been without working and stable internet here at home.
I thought I would take a moment to share them:
#1- I had to pull the drivers seat up a notch.
#2-I bought 2 summer dresses 1 is 5 sizes smaller then last summer its a bit tight right now across my chest but will fit fine in a few weeks, the other is 4 sizes smaller and looks great on.
#3-I had to make another PCP order reduction in my insulin injections and it looks like I am heading for another very quickly as the numbers just aren't coming up to what they should be.
#4- THis morning my boss was the Doc on site for a local 5K run- I was able to help him put the tent up, move boxes , run back and forth from the car without huffing and puffing, and without pain.
#5-Foods I once loved that were not good for me are now making me ill just smelling them.
#6- I can now chase and catch my cat when she needs her claws trimmed.
#7-Exercising is getting much much easier.
#8-I no longer need a seat belt extenter in the car
#9- My brother keeps asking if I am sure I am not sick...( this is a good thing cause he usually doesnt notice anything)
#10-I have had to pack up many of my old clothes as they just can't be worn anymore.
Life is good.
The Journey is getting fun.
I thought I would take a moment to share them:
#1- I had to pull the drivers seat up a notch.
#2-I bought 2 summer dresses 1 is 5 sizes smaller then last summer its a bit tight right now across my chest but will fit fine in a few weeks, the other is 4 sizes smaller and looks great on.
#3-I had to make another PCP order reduction in my insulin injections and it looks like I am heading for another very quickly as the numbers just aren't coming up to what they should be.
#4- THis morning my boss was the Doc on site for a local 5K run- I was able to help him put the tent up, move boxes , run back and forth from the car without huffing and puffing, and without pain.
#5-Foods I once loved that were not good for me are now making me ill just smelling them.
#6- I can now chase and catch my cat when she needs her claws trimmed.
#7-Exercising is getting much much easier.
#8-I no longer need a seat belt extenter in the car
#9- My brother keeps asking if I am sure I am not sick...( this is a good thing cause he usually doesnt notice anything)
#10-I have had to pack up many of my old clothes as they just can't be worn anymore.
Life is good.
The Journey is getting fun.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Life without the internet
About 11 days ago my DSL went down, so did my phone line. I called Verizon and they send 1 person out who couldn't get it fixed, so they called in a higher level service ticket and a second person came out, that 1 couldnt find the problem either.
That was last week.
Monday of this week some came out and looked at my wires and cables and filed an even higher level service ticket. Tuesday when I got home from work there was a message taped to my door that said the underground lines were bad and a "team" would be out Wednesday. Last night when I got home from work there was a mount of dirt in front of my bedroom windows. Today I got home- dirt gone, 4 lights lite on my modem.
I am a happy camper.
Yeah I am addicted to the internet.
Glad to be back
That was last week.
Monday of this week some came out and looked at my wires and cables and filed an even higher level service ticket. Tuesday when I got home from work there was a message taped to my door that said the underground lines were bad and a "team" would be out Wednesday. Last night when I got home from work there was a mount of dirt in front of my bedroom windows. Today I got home- dirt gone, 4 lights lite on my modem.
I am a happy camper.
Yeah I am addicted to the internet.
Glad to be back
Saturday, May 2, 2009
The difference a year makes
This morning my Nephew Hunter made his first communinion for you non- catholics- this is considered the third sacrement in life and its an important one.
I am extermely proud of both my nephews. Hunter is 8 and looked so handsome in his double breasted navy blue suit.
These boys amaze me- Nick the oldest is going to be 14 in 3 weeks, and is already 6'4"
Hunter is 8 and 5'3" already. Both of these guys were born premature- they were so tiny and fragile when I held them to my chest just minutes after their births. Now look at them.
The 1 Photo was taken a year ago (I an in Pink then and blue today)- and to- WOW what a difference a year has made in both of them.
I enjoyed being their with them today. I love these two young men with all my heart.
Life's journey is more fun with family along
Monday, April 27, 2009
Life Lessons learned from My Mom
As I sit here today- in shorts and a tank top with my AC on, I think of April 27 1996- it was cold damp and a constant drizzle that day. Why do I remember the weather from 13 yrs ago. Easy- Today is the day my Mom passed away in 1996. She was 55 when she died.
In March of 96 she was diagnosised with Multiple Mylomia which is a rare blood born cancer. Less then 6 weeks later she was gone.
In those last few weeks she enparted several incredible life lessons- I have decided to share a few of those with you.
Life Lesson #1-
My Mom had never ever watched the news or read a news paper- she didnt even like them in the house. She choose instead to read things like the National Equirer , the globe, the star, ect- Trash magazines we used to call them. It was during those last weeks of her life that I began to understand why. As Mom grow to weak to read herself I would read her this magazines- and she would laugh and laugh- there was one day she and I were both laughing so hard we had tears rolling down our faces, and our sides were hurting from laughing so hard. She told me that- to find something everyday to laugh about.....
Life Lesson #2-
Mom was wasting away quickly and couldnt eat, the doctors had suggested giving her ensure to drink- well she hated the taste of it- so I began making her a special milkshake everyday- 2 scoops of vanilla Ice cream, a packet of Carnation instant breakfast mix, a can of ensure, a cup of cold milk and several sqirts of hersery's chocolate syrup- all in the blender- then served to her in a big glass with a bendy straw. It would take her hours to drink this - but she liked it and would drink the whole thing. I was working from 11 pm till 7 AM and would frequently get home as my Dad was leaving so that I could take care of Mom all day. One particular Saturday morning- Dad was home and told me to just go to bed and he would care for Mom that day. I offered to make her my special shake before I went to sleep. He told me no that was ridiculous and that all he needed to do was tell my mother to drink the ensure.... I had barely gotten into my PJs when I heard Glass shattered in my Mom's room. I walked in to find Dad and the wall behind him covered in Ensure and glass all over the floor. Once I had made Mom her special shake and brought it to her- she told me- NEVER Ever assume you can changes someones mind on something they do not want.
Life Lesson #3
On Valentines night 1984- while crossing Reisterstown Road after work- I was hit by a buick- My then 18 yr old Brother was one of the witnesses to the accident. He scooped me up off the street- called for help, etc- once I was safely on my way to the hosptial he went to find my parents who were out to dinner for Valentine's day (long before cell phones) He found them finishing dinner- Dad took my brother's car (Dad always thought he was the move level headed parent) and raced to the hospital- leaving my brother to take care of my Mom and the valet with Dad's car. Once in the car My Mom asked my brother " What underwear did your sister have on", My brother's response was I dont think it matters- they shredded her clothes at the scene. Once in the ER My Mom was obsessed with finding out if my contacts were still in my eyes. It was during those last weeks of her life that I finally found the courage to ask her why she had been so worried about contacts and underwear... She told me that she always worried about the small details because God took care of the big ones..
Just a few of the many lessons I learned from my Mom. For those of you that read this blog that knew my Mom please feel free to share your own stories of her. She would be tickled.
For those of you that didnt know my Mom- she was an amazingly strong, determined, loving and funny women.
To honor her today- I took flower and a national Enquirer to her grave and left them for her.
In March of 96 she was diagnosised with Multiple Mylomia which is a rare blood born cancer. Less then 6 weeks later she was gone.
In those last few weeks she enparted several incredible life lessons- I have decided to share a few of those with you.
Life Lesson #1-
My Mom had never ever watched the news or read a news paper- she didnt even like them in the house. She choose instead to read things like the National Equirer , the globe, the star, ect- Trash magazines we used to call them. It was during those last weeks of her life that I began to understand why. As Mom grow to weak to read herself I would read her this magazines- and she would laugh and laugh- there was one day she and I were both laughing so hard we had tears rolling down our faces, and our sides were hurting from laughing so hard. She told me that- to find something everyday to laugh about.....
Life Lesson #2-
Mom was wasting away quickly and couldnt eat, the doctors had suggested giving her ensure to drink- well she hated the taste of it- so I began making her a special milkshake everyday- 2 scoops of vanilla Ice cream, a packet of Carnation instant breakfast mix, a can of ensure, a cup of cold milk and several sqirts of hersery's chocolate syrup- all in the blender- then served to her in a big glass with a bendy straw. It would take her hours to drink this - but she liked it and would drink the whole thing. I was working from 11 pm till 7 AM and would frequently get home as my Dad was leaving so that I could take care of Mom all day. One particular Saturday morning- Dad was home and told me to just go to bed and he would care for Mom that day. I offered to make her my special shake before I went to sleep. He told me no that was ridiculous and that all he needed to do was tell my mother to drink the ensure.... I had barely gotten into my PJs when I heard Glass shattered in my Mom's room. I walked in to find Dad and the wall behind him covered in Ensure and glass all over the floor. Once I had made Mom her special shake and brought it to her- she told me- NEVER Ever assume you can changes someones mind on something they do not want.
Life Lesson #3
On Valentines night 1984- while crossing Reisterstown Road after work- I was hit by a buick- My then 18 yr old Brother was one of the witnesses to the accident. He scooped me up off the street- called for help, etc- once I was safely on my way to the hosptial he went to find my parents who were out to dinner for Valentine's day (long before cell phones) He found them finishing dinner- Dad took my brother's car (Dad always thought he was the move level headed parent) and raced to the hospital- leaving my brother to take care of my Mom and the valet with Dad's car. Once in the car My Mom asked my brother " What underwear did your sister have on", My brother's response was I dont think it matters- they shredded her clothes at the scene. Once in the ER My Mom was obsessed with finding out if my contacts were still in my eyes. It was during those last weeks of her life that I finally found the courage to ask her why she had been so worried about contacts and underwear... She told me that she always worried about the small details because God took care of the big ones..
Just a few of the many lessons I learned from my Mom. For those of you that read this blog that knew my Mom please feel free to share your own stories of her. She would be tickled.
For those of you that didnt know my Mom- she was an amazingly strong, determined, loving and funny women.
To honor her today- I took flower and a national Enquirer to her grave and left them for her.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Visit with my ETN today.
I had an early morning appointment with my Ear, Nose and Throat doctor today. We discussed my frequent and lingering Strep throats- I have had 7 of them in the last 6 months..... ARGGGGG
He confirmed that in fact my tonsils have GROWN BACK!!! Lucky me...
Even better- after being on an antibotic for 2 weeks and having just come off it- I have strep AGAIN...
I love this doctor - he is by far the greatest. He was very very straight with me- he said that the removal of tonsils - surgery wise at any age is an easy surgery from the surgeons stand point. 45 minutes snipe snipe over and done with. HOWEVER, the recover is a misery the older you are. 26 yrs ago at the age of 19 the recovery was not fun... He assures me that it would be even less fun this time around.
Wanting to spear me that misery he has decided to put me on a very strong antibotic for the next month ( like the 2 weeks worth didn't already cause a yeast infection).
After a month on this one I will have to go back for another throat culture- if there is still signs of strep- we will have no choice but to remove them AGAIN....
If this bout is cleared up we will have to keep a watchful eye on them for a while.
He confimed what I already suspected that they were very swollen as swallowing is very difficult right now. He recommend COLD COLD drinks and rest.
Now to the REST thing- I have been feeling a bit like Rip Van Winkle lately- all I seem to want to do is sleep. My coach and I had discussed this and he thinks its my cortisol levels coming down, and my body's way of adjusting to the many changes.
THe ENT agrees with that and thinks that my body is also trying like made to fight off this strep infection and ralling all his resourses to do that. So he said SLEEP..
On a side note- he was soo shocked when he saw me today- last time I saw him was when he released me from my sinus surgery at the begining of last August. He was so impressed with the weight loss, and how I looked.... ( Made me feel good he noticed)
I have stocked up on probotics and yogurt with probotics in it. We will see what the next month brings.
Thanks
P.S.My good friend Jeff will be starting the American odyess relay tomorrow AM- this is a 200 mile relay race from Gettysburg to Washington DC. I wish him the best and hope all goes well for him. Here it the link to his blog if you are interested-http://www.formerlyfatrunningguy.blogspot.com/
He confirmed that in fact my tonsils have GROWN BACK!!! Lucky me...
Even better- after being on an antibotic for 2 weeks and having just come off it- I have strep AGAIN...
I love this doctor - he is by far the greatest. He was very very straight with me- he said that the removal of tonsils - surgery wise at any age is an easy surgery from the surgeons stand point. 45 minutes snipe snipe over and done with. HOWEVER, the recover is a misery the older you are. 26 yrs ago at the age of 19 the recovery was not fun... He assures me that it would be even less fun this time around.
Wanting to spear me that misery he has decided to put me on a very strong antibotic for the next month ( like the 2 weeks worth didn't already cause a yeast infection).
After a month on this one I will have to go back for another throat culture- if there is still signs of strep- we will have no choice but to remove them AGAIN....
If this bout is cleared up we will have to keep a watchful eye on them for a while.
He confimed what I already suspected that they were very swollen as swallowing is very difficult right now. He recommend COLD COLD drinks and rest.
Now to the REST thing- I have been feeling a bit like Rip Van Winkle lately- all I seem to want to do is sleep. My coach and I had discussed this and he thinks its my cortisol levels coming down, and my body's way of adjusting to the many changes.
THe ENT agrees with that and thinks that my body is also trying like made to fight off this strep infection and ralling all his resourses to do that. So he said SLEEP..
On a side note- he was soo shocked when he saw me today- last time I saw him was when he released me from my sinus surgery at the begining of last August. He was so impressed with the weight loss, and how I looked.... ( Made me feel good he noticed)
I have stocked up on probotics and yogurt with probotics in it. We will see what the next month brings.
Thanks
P.S.My good friend Jeff will be starting the American odyess relay tomorrow AM- this is a 200 mile relay race from Gettysburg to Washington DC. I wish him the best and hope all goes well for him. Here it the link to his blog if you are interested-http://www.formerlyfatrunningguy.blogspot.com/
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